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life of a single mother is not easy in this world. Here are personal
glimpses into the lives of single mothers who are struggling but often
Well, my story is complicated but true. Me and her dad
got together and well, honestly i thought he had changed but he hadn't
changed at all, actually he's gotten worse. We got married August 6th,
2005 and August 31st, 2005 he left and me nor the baby hasn't seen him
since. Haven't even heard from him,. then here recently I found out
from a friend that he's staying in the next county from me which is
about 30 minutes and he can't even call her talk to me or he can't
call to check on the baby. they also told me that he's living with
another woman over there to. He's on drugs really bad, but i know
if i keep him around that little girl will be around that and i can't
haven her around all that garbage. I have better goals for me and her.
I love him but i can't take the lying and cheating. I know I have to
trust him but he's burnt me so much. I've took 4 years of it, i think
its time to move on with my life and start giving my daughter the life
she deserves. But maybe one day i will find someone to take care and
love me and amaya for who we are and not what drugs can give you.
Thank you for listening to my story. It actually helps me to talk
about every now and again.
Mom with twins
basically let me start by saying i love my babies. i have twins peter and brooke. they are my life.
the twin's daddy is a father and grand father i met him at my job . i married the father to do the right thing the whole pregnancy he would give me hard time because i would fall asleep on him also he would get upset when i could not stay sleeping in the bed. he controlled everything i did could not talk to my ex husband because of his jealousy. so he took me away from my family here in Texas, isolated me in garden city Kansas which i cried all the time.
finally we did get the courage and the support to take off in his car drive 11 hrs straight to get back here to Houston. however we stayed in two women's shelters which would horrible. also transence houses which my little boy was very sick due to the mold in the rooms.
i feel so bad at times for putting my little angels through all of this. we are going to court this month i hope their father does not take the car. the controlling man that he is. anyway i know hard times for the one time we slept in the car all night because we stay in a hotel at this time hopeful we will have a apt by the end of the month. i know how the other mother feels i cry a lot and worry about my choices i want to go back to school too but their is no one to watch the babies and yes we had stamps and all that but they took it away once i did get a job.
i wish all the single working mother all the love in world
I'm a 21 year old parent of a 22 month old son. I'm basically trying to make it day by day.
I currently live by myself with my son but struggle to make ends meet. I'm at the point where I'm facing eviction from my apartment. It's truly hard for me and my son because I have nowhere to turn. My son's father has never given me a penny for his son. I filed for child support and the court has closed my case because they can not find him. I don't even get help from the state. The state says that my income is too much by, a little bit over $1,000. The state doesn't take into consideration that I have to pay for child care, rent, utilities, water, and sewage.
I have no family to turn to because the reason why I had to get my own place is because me living with my mother wasn't a safe environment for me and my son. I have look on the internet, keep going to social services and everyone's just basically turns their he ads and doesn't care what happens to us. I'm at the end of my rope. There is not a day that goes by when I don't worry. I know that people have a worse life than I do, that's why I thank God for just letting me and my son live and for to not give up because I know that someone with a good heart with be knocking on my door...
Things will get better
His girlfriend even did the same. (he is
still with her to
I just got child support again after 2
months of receiving
Thankfully, so far the court isn't allowing
As horrible as things may seem sometimes,
they can and WILL get
'm a single mom of three children two girls, 15 & 9 and a son who is 5 and has autism.
I'm still married but separated. My husband did not want me to have another child when I found I was pregnant with my son. He told me to make a choice which I chose to have my son but when I put my foot down and told him he could start packing cause i wasn't having a abortion he changed his mind and stayed but was never happy. He barely ever paid attention to our daughters but never to our son.
Then when our son was dx. he didn't have much to say. He was never emotionally there for me to begin with and even farther away at this time. He would come home from work drunk and drink some more outside our house then come in put his lunch box on the table and i would then deliver his dinner to him in "his" bedroom as he sat in front of the computer.
The weekends were horrible! All the
kids were home from school and he would hear me having a
hard time trying to cook, clean, take care of the k ids and
keep my son from jumping off the counters. You would think
he would offer some type of help but he never did.
He still has nothing to do with our son. He comes over and does his laundry at my house and does give me some money every wk. but he just cant find it in his heart to be a father to our children. His words are I work everyday to support the family, that is my job.
How dare anyone tell you what your life will be!
have just read some of the stories on this site and I felt
compelled to write. I am a 43 year old mother with 3
children, grown up now. When I was 16 I got pregnant with twins,
well 26 years ago we did not have the choices most pregnant
teens do these days there is no school for pregnant girls, no
website for help and society still viewed you as a low-life. I
was a gifted student who came from a very dysfunctional family,
I couldn't relate to girls in high school or dances when I was
too worried about my families heroin addition problems (like not
burning down the house) or who would drive them to the methadone
clinic, which was usually me, I think you get what I
I would like any of you young mothers to know, is that
society will try to keep you in a place that they
want you to be, by this I mean a single mom will immediately be
told you must get on welfare, you're going to struggle, you've
ruined your life, you and the child will be poor, how awful her
life is over....that kind of talk is the only thing that will
hurt you as you raise your child. I know I heard plenty of it behind
my back, the whispers of how awful because I could have been so
dare anyone tell you what your life will be! You have the
right to ask the person who says anything like this WHY?, WHY
NOT, WHO SAYS I CANT, AND WHO ARE THEY TO SAY HOW MY LIFE WILL
I say this only after proving them all wrong, I would never give advise and couldn't back up with facts.
#1 I got pregnant at 16 with twins
#2 I was asked to leave High School, so not to set a bad example.
#3 I went on welfare with a goal of using that time to learn a skill, go to work as soon as the boys were 4 or 5. Now a single mom can go to school and get big $ and get help with daycare normally provided at the school!
#4 I got no help from family, my mom threw the keys to the apartment we lived in at me and said "your on your own." (fine with me) I had no idea what kind of mom I would be but I knew what kind of mom I didn't want to be and I had a lot of help from God. I cried many nites just wanting a little sleep or some food to feed them. Got always answered me in surprising ways
#5 I got married to my boys father MISTAKE. Had my daughter,
#6. Worked waiting tables most of the time, did secretarial work on the side. No long on welfare, made my goal in 3 years.
#7 Divorced my ex, got my first office job, sucked up all the knowledge I could get. Waited tables after work for 4 or 5 hours more. Advanced at work.
#8 Got a new job with all the skills I acquired at my first, had been there 5 years.
#9 The new job was in a town I had never been to, but I took my kids on this adventure that was a place we all felt at home. This new job paid me very well due to my experience, I didn't have to work 2 jobs because the cost of living was a lot less. I never missed a baseball game, a ballet recital, you name it I was there to watch my kids do all the things everyone said I had missed! I had a great time tagging along with my kids. I love being a mom!
#10 My twins, now 26 found a place here with many friends, as did my beautiful daughter now 21 and a mom herself with a good job a place of her own. They all graduated school, one went to college and runs his own business. I also retired from that job and started a business with my new husband who I adore.
This is only part of the reason though very important for writing to you. 5 years ago my oldest twin son, Jesse was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver. I hurt everyday, I hurt for my son who lost part of himself as he says. I hurt for his sister, It hurts to wake up everyday knowing you cannot talk to your son today. But it would hurt even more if I had no good memories to play in my mind, because it's what you live on when you lose a child, I am honored that God chose me to be his mother, and I am glad I could give him a good life, , a life he loved so much to live. He knew I loved him. I knew he loved me. Don't wait for life to knock on your door or someone else to help you along. Prove all those who put hurdles in front of you WRONG. Start with small goals that lead to bigger goals, it really works. I had a long list of goals when I left my husband I have completed all but 1, I would like to get a college degree which I am 2 years into making that happen. I bought 2 homes in my life, had new cars, had someone clean my house even! Motivation was easy I just had to look at my beautiful kids. Being a mom is the hardest job you'll ever do. let them see you work hard, and let them show you how to have fun. God Bless you all.
Being a mother to my son is unreal
I was always told that life as an adult was not as easy as it seemed. I found out that that was more than true when at 16 i took on the responsibility of being a mother. I was in love with a man who i thought i would spend the rest of my life with. When i was 5 months pregnant with our son my life came to a crashing halt. I woke up one afternoon to get ready for work and found that he was not breathing. His father and brother were downstairs but with everyone trying to save his life in the end it was not enough. The baby i had inside me was the only thing that kept me going through everyday.
Still in high school i took a few months off and with the help of a very special teacher i graduated in may of 04. My son is my life. I have been trying to make a good life for the two of us by furthering my education but a set income every month doesn't go to far. The state has made it extremely more difficult. I found this website trying to look for ways of help so i'm writing to tell my story and ask for any advice or suggestions that could help my son have a good life that even before birth had heartbreak. thanks. I would never exchange the everlasting love i have from my son to avoid all the heartbreak and frustrations. Being a mother to my son is unreal.
Hi, my name is Nicole DeLauter and I'm completely lost at what to do when it comes to my situation.
Here's how it all began. I was only with my son's father for a month when I found out I was pregnant. He was happy about it in the beginning, but then decided that abortion was the best option. I considered it, but then told him that I couldn't do it. So, at two months pregnant he left me. I didn't love him and he didn't love me, but I was terrified of being alone. I was only 18 years old, in the middle of my freshmen year in college, and my dad was leaving for Iraq soon. I stayed in very close contact with his mother and only saw him pass through the house when I would come see her. He avoided me at all costs. She helped me get the nerve to tell my parents. I was terrified to tell them in the beginning but thought that Steve and I would do it together.
Now I felt completely alone. I finally told them when I was three months along and they were wonderful. My father did leave for Iraq, but my mom stood by my side. I also saw his mother atleast once a week up until my son was born. My son was born 7/12/04 and my family and his mom came to see me the three days I was there, but he never showed up.
I didn't hear anything from him until October when he petitioned me to court to disprove that he was the father. He was proven the father by DNA in November and I heard nothing. I didn't file for child support because I thought he wanted nothing to do with us and we nothing to do with him. The next time I saw him was in March when his mom and sister came over with him. At this point in my life, my father left my mother after 23 years of marriage and I told his family that I was moving back to CA, my home state, to be with my mom and family support and to finish school. I heard no objections.
In June, I went on vacation to CA and he went to the courts without telling me and told them I kidnapped our son. A warrant was pout out for my arrest and he was granted full custody of my son unless I returned to NJ. I did and had that order vacated telling the judge I had no idea about his objections. I then found out that there is a law in NJ saying that the moving parent needs permission from the other parent to move out of state. I was completely unaware of this. So, my son and I are now stuck here in NJ until 8/30/05 when we have trial to give testimony to the judge to allow my move. He also now was awarded two days a week visitation from 11-5pm and is now paying me $81 a week in Child Support. He has been delininquent in all of his payments up until just recently when he paid an entire month in one lump sum. My home here is sold, I have no where to live, no family because my mom is moving to CA because of her divorce, and no means to support myself.
I am 20 years old and have raised my one year old son by myself without him. I have been able to continue school with no interference only because I have no mom to watch my son. I only have to work minimally because I pay no rent because I live with her. I don't understand why he did this a month before my move when I told him I was leaving months prior. The possibility of moving to CA was brought even when I was pregnant and he said that he would come and visit whenever he could. Another kicker is that he just had another son with his girlfriend on 8/4/05.
I don't understand his motives and I need help. I hired a lawyer who feels very confident in my case, but I get mixed feelings from other people. I just don't understand how all of sudden he gets all of the say in our life and I just have to sit back and listen. I have made all decisions regarding what is best for my son without his input. I'm terrified. If I have to stay here, I would have to quit school, get a full time job at the least, and put my son in daycare which he has never been to. He has always been in the comfort of his own home with his grandmother while I was gone which would continue in CA. I need advice. Does anyone know anything about NJ and this law?
Anyone know anyone who has dealt with this?
Please, any help would be appreciated.
send your answer to firstname.lastname@example.org
our society is really messed up
I was married.. and had three beautiful children, and my husband decided to cheat, lie and mistreat me and the kids.. despite my prayers, my trying to make him happy.. trying to make it work.. after so much physical and mental abuse (which was sometimes worse).. I had to leave for the sake of my children and myself)...
he has gone on with his life.. marrying to jezebel who chased him.. and he had an affair with. I now must raise my three children alone. One of my children is a special needs child.. but he is the most loving child.
I believe single moms become like the plague.
Most men wont date you because you have kids, and then there are
the ones who think you "easy".. and desperate. The
"dads" can go on with their lives and start over.. its
hard for single moms... I'm blessed.. I'm a school teacher and I'm
better off then most single moms...but I might have to realize
that I might spend the rest of my life alone.. due to society's
standards.. and most christian men, unwilling to raise someone
else's child. My children's father hasn't seen them in 2
years!.. I have to deal with their emotional, spiritual and
psychological pain without any help... it still amazes me how many
men can make children and never even care about them... not just
the material things needed for the children, but their emotional
well being... our society is really messed up!...Robin from NJ
no child support
hi, i am susan i am single mom who is struggling get help finding a place for my 3yr old daughter and I to stay for the last 3 years
I have stayed in various different places. when i was younger i made the mistake of ruining my credit and now i can not get any help to get my child a home. I have a good job now and for once in my life I will be able to afford a house payment, but it seems as if know one once to help anyone.
After three years of no child support i finally started getting a little bit but the checks seem to come and I have to use them on stuff that my child needs and its hard. so I guess what I am trying to say - is there anyone out there that actually helps the single moms?