Hello Everyone!

This month we bring you some "Parenting Bytes".....

Sometimes parenting bites. But when weighed 
on the lifetime scale of values, what scores higher 
than parenting?

Really, can you think of anything more adventursome
and rewarding than your your children? 

Vacations? Been there done that. New cars? We wear
them out so quickly. Money? Got enough to pay 
the mortgage. Career? Some doctors would rather
be driving trucks.

So, this issue has no specific theme. Some of it 
is from past issues of The Compleat Mother. 
Some is from cyberspace. All of it is about 
parenting in one way or another.

So we bring you.......


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* Parenting Bytes *
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The Time Out Chair

Today I took my four-year-old onto my lap. 
This was his time-out. Time to cuddle with 
mommy and hear how much he means to me. Not 
him sitting alone in a chair, felling as if 
everyone hates him.

I am not the perfect parent. I yell, throw 
things, and say mean stuff sometimes. Today 
my kid was acting like what other people might 
call a brat, kicking his brother, knocking over 
toys, and yelling at the top of his lungs just 
to bug us all.

So I went over to him, lifted him up, held him 
close, just us. I told him he is special to me; 
he melted, tension flowed away. Center of my 
world, he relaxed, aaaaah. After a few minutes 
he jumped off my lap and went to play quietly
with his brother.

I watched in awe. I finally listened to my 
insides that said children need love, not 
punishment. To be the center of someone�s world 
for just a few minutes, in the time out chair.

- Alaina Chapman, Dunster, British Columbia

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How about some "funnies"!

Messy Kitchen is a Happy Kitchen 
And This Kitchen Is Delirious

No Husband Has Ever Been Shot 
While Doing the Dishes

A husband Is someone who takes out the trash 
and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house

If we are what we eat, then I�m easy, 
fast, and cheap.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refridgerator

A clean house is a sign of a Misspent Life

My next house will have no kitchen�
just vending machines

- maka laughingwolf, domestic goddess

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POSTPARTUM AFFIRMATIONS

My body is beautiful, capable and strong
My baby will thrive on breastmilk and love
I am adjusting to my new life as a mother
There is plenty of love in my family
My baby knows all is well

- Mary C. Shaw
Buellton, California

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As I Awaken

I think of the babies
being born today.

Some willingly,
choosing this date
and embarking on their
birth journey.

Others abruptly,
surprisedl.

While in their protected haven
Suddenly,
comes the invasion
of the surgeon�s knife.

I mourn the state of obstetrics today
And wonder what the babies make of it.

-Kimberly French
Clevland, Ohio

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BABY FRIENDLY HOSPITALS

Over 7,000 hospitals worldwide have been designated 
Baby Friendly, including 56 in Sweden, 900 in China, 
and two in war-torn Croatia. There are only two in 
Britain, including the Knighton Hospital in Powys, 
Wales. There are none in Canada. Information about 
the U.S. is sorely lacking�.

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VIOLENT FOLKS RAISED~ NOT BORN ~

Children who don�t experience secure attachment 
to their moms and dads during the early months 
and years of their lives are more prone to become 
violent than children who receive predictable, 
loving care, say researchers at the 
University of Minnesota.

Securely attached children do well in school 
and in relationships in later years, says 
Dr. Marti Erickson. Children who grow up with 
unresponsive care don�t learn to feel empathy 
for others because they haven�t experienced 
it for themselves. Insecure attachment is 
associated with vioolence across all cultures, 
says Dr. Alan Sroufe. �We have a moral obligation 
to see our children have this basic foundation 
for healthy development,� said Dr. Erickson.
- Seeds of Promise, University of Minnesota

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Holding hands 

Take a good look at the picture on the Web 
which is linked below. It's one of the most 
remarkable photographs ever taken. The tiny hand 
of a foetus reaches out from a mother's womb to 
clasp a surgeon's healing finger. It is, 
by the way, 21 weeks old, an age at which it 
could still be legally aborted. The tiny hand 
in the picture above belongs to a baby which 
is due to be born on December 28. It was taken 
during an operation in America recently. 
Paul Harris reports on a medical development 
in the control of the effects of spina bifida ... 
and on a picture which will reverberate through 
the on-going abortion debate here 

WEBSITE LINK: 
http://www.independent.ie/1999/302/d20a.shtml 

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And finally an terrific little 
summation to Parenting Bytes

SOMEDAY

SOMEDAY, when the kids are grown, 
life will be different. The memo pad on 
my refrigerator door will read, 
"Afternoon at hairdresser," or, 
"Browse through art gallery," or, 
"Start golf lessons," instead of, 
"Pediatrician at 2:00," or, 
"Cub Pack Meeting.

SOMEDAY, when the kids are grown, 
the house will be free of graffiti. 
There will be no crayoned smiley faces 
on the walls, no names scrawled in furniture 
dust, no pictures fingered on steamy windows, 
and no initials etched in bars of soap.
 
SOMEDAY, when the kids are grown, I'll get 
through a whole chapter of an engrossing book 
without being interrupted to sew a nose on a teddy 
bear, stop a toddler from eating the dog food, 
or rescue the cat from the toy box. 

SOMEDAY, when the kids are grown, I won't find 
brown apple cores under the beds, empty spindles 
on the toilet paper hanger, or fuzzy caterpillars 
in denim jeans. And I will be able to find a pencil 
in the desk drawer, a slice of leftover pie in the 
refrigerator, and the comics still in the center 
of the newspaper.

SOMEDAY, when the kids are grown, I'll breeze right 
past the gumball machine in the supermarket without 
having to fumble for pennies; I'll stroll freely 
down each aisle without fear of inadvertently passing
the candy or toy sections; and I'll choose cereal 
without considering what noise it makes, what prize 
it contains, or what color it comes in. 

SOMEDAY, when the kids are grown, I'll prepare 
Quiche Loraine, or Scallops Amandine, or just plain 
liver and onions, and no one will say, 
"Yuk! I wish we were having hot dogs!" or, 
"Jimmy's lucky, his mom lets him eat chocolate bars 
for dinner."; And we'll eat by candle light, with no one 
trying to roast their peas and carrots over the flame 
to "make them taste better," or arguing about who gets 
to blow out the candle when we're done. 

SOMEDAY, when the kids are grown, I'll get ready for 
my bath without first having to remove a fleet of boats, 
two rubber alligators, and a soggy tennis ball f
rom the tub. I'll luxuriate in hot, steamy water 
and billows of bubbles for a whole hour, and no fists 
will pound on the door, no small voices will yell, 
"Hurry up, Mommy! I gotta go!" 

YES, SOMEDAY, when the kids are grown, 
life will be different. 
They'll leave our nest, and the house will be 

Quiet....
 
   and calm....

      and empty....

         and lonely.... 

            And I won't like that at all! 

(If you know who wrote this, please email me at 
[email protected] so I can
provide the proper, deserved credit.)

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Don't forget to renew your subscriptions! 
Or, subscribe to our magazine,
The Compleat Mother, so you can read it while 
you are nursing baby or
relaxing in bed. There's nothing quite like 
it in the market and it costs
only a measly 12 bucks a year.

Peace to you all.

Catherine Young, Jody McLaughlin and Greg Cryns