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My Blessing Way
by Jenny Hatch
Sept. 8th, 2002
Yesterday I called Jeannine Parvati Baker to integrate what happened
during our blessing way. Yesterday was the sixth anniversary of my first
Freebirth. We had a wonderful discussion. I realized as we hung up the
phone that our conversation ended right about the time I had a quick
five-minute transition and started pushing Andrew into the world.
We conceived in January. My husband Paul has known for years that if we
had another baby I would want to do my own prenatal care, as I did with
Andrew, and was not surprised when I did exactly that. What was a
surprise to me however, was how my life organized itself to allow me to
use Jeannine as my Shamanic Midwife, much the same way that Laura
Shanley was my mentor during Andrew’s pregnancy.
How exciting for me to be able to have passionate discussions through
email/phone with these wonderful sisters while pregnant, being mentored and
encouraged by those who have lived such pioneering lives and then been
passionate enough to write and share of their experiences!
We transferred to the hospital shortly after Andrew’s birth for help
with his breathing and my bleeding. I don’t know why I had such a wild
time after that birth, when all I wanted was a quiet bonding with my
child, but the trauma of the firemen, ambulances, helicopter, and
Newborn Intensive Care Unit resulted in me questioning everything about
our life.
As we struggled through this time, made more challenging by Paul
experiencing panic attacks, food allergies, and financial difficulties
that required me to work outside our home, I experienced a sort of
valley after our peak empowering experience of taking personal
responsibility for the health of my son during his gestation and birth.
I have wondered what this “valley” of darkness after Andrew’s birth was
all about. A scripture comes to mind when I think of this time. It is
from the Book of Mormon and says: “And now, I, Moroni, would speak
somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that FAITH
is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye
see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of
your FAITH” Ether 12:6
I believe this time was the trial of my faith. Sometimes God gives us
enough light and truth to encourage us to take a different path, but
then he lets us struggle as we learn by our own experience to know the
bitter from the sweet. As we struggled through this time, I learned to
embrace others who had lifestyles different from ours. From what I could
see, many who were living a mainstream life were doing a fabulous job
raising loving, intelligent children. While our children participated in
public school for the first time, I roasted my first pot roast, and we
immersed ourselves more fully in American culture by participating in
Halloween trick or treating, and other types of activities that I had
formerly deemed too “toxic” for my children, I was forced to take a step
back from my ideals and wonder how much “purity” and “wholeness” was
really necessary to raise a healthy family?
The discomfort our lifestyle brought upon others, who then expressed
their distress to us in a variety of ways had to be a factor in all of
these decisions regarding how “alternative” we were going to be in our
home life.
One of Paul’s constant laments in the early year’s was, “why do we
always have to be the weird one’s?” I believe this time of reevaluation
was a chance for us to integrate the issues that had troubled our
marriage. Paul’s perception over the years was that I would rush from
one book to another and then take a flying leap into the unknown with
him and the children quietly standing by flustered and uncomfortable. He
told me once that every time I returned home from the Library with a
stack of books, he would cringe wondering what was next.
As I raced from natural childbirth to vegetarianism to not immunizing,
to pushing all the beds in the house together, to breastfeeding a four
year old, to unschooling, and finally to the mother of them all….
Unassisted Childbirth… he was left wondering what sort of an
irresponsible nut case he had married?
As we have talked and become more accepting of each other as a couple
the give and take needed for our marriage to survive has required both
of us to sacrifice some ideals. We both agree however, that the most
important gift we can give to our children is to teach them correct
principles and let them govern themselves.
The confidence I feel NOW in regards to primal mothering is more quiet
and clear, with the sober understanding that this lifestyle, while
wonderful in most ways, has its drawbacks and pitfalls. Some of these
pitfalls are the feelings of isolation the family may experience. We
mother’s may feel supported, validated, and nurtured by friend’s from
all across the world in our vast Internet outreach. But our husband’s
and older children may not, and this lack of support for our partners
may lead to a divorce. Men are already isolated in our western society
and to add one more layer of isolation may tip the scales over to a
family breakup.
Most truth in life is so surrounded by Spiritual Warfare that often it
is difficult to clearly see and quantify what it is that we are doing as
parents. But through the purposeful daily practice of nurturing our
little ones in a conscious way – we are battling all that is evil on the
planet. As I have renewed my faith in the truths surrounding primal
parenting, a quiet yet firm confidence has welled up in my heart. This
is the right lifestyle for US! And with loving compromise every family
can determine the principles and practices that are important to them!
One of the Sacred Ceremonies that I wanted to manifest in this pregnancy
was The Blessing Way.
I knew the greatest gift I could give to my family was the experience of
the Blessing Way. I felt somewhat shy to organize my own ceremony – but
knew how I wanted it to go. I felt the spirit associated with a family
blessing way would be the most important “prenatal care” we could
experience.
I contacted Jeannine and asked her if she were coming to Colorado at all
during my pregnancy. She told me that they would be in town over Labor
Day weekend. It was perfect! Labor Day! Symbolic and also a day when
Dad’s would be off work!
As a Christian, I wanted to have the Savior’s spirit in abundance at the
party and I also knew that sacred hymns and prayer would be the best way to
invite his spirit. I also understood that the feelings attached to it
would be a potential pattern for how my birth would be.
I prepared my Alter with a picture of Jesus, a bag of Wheat grass, a jar
of Kamut and Flax seeds, and a cloth diaper. We had requested that no
one bring gifts, but rather donate to our cloth diaper fund. Our friends
gave generously and I was able to order all of the diapers needed for
this new little one last week!
As each family arrived I had a feeling of perfection. These were the
very souls we were destined to bless the way with!
My friend Nancy offered a wonderful prayer of thanksgiving and
protection to start the Ceremony.
Then Rico told the history of the blessing way, and Jeannine described
the purpose of passing around the yarn, which we all wound around our
wrist’s symbolizing community. As we wound the string I sang the opening
hymn, acapella.
Come thou Fount
Come thou fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing thy grace.
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above,
Praise the mount I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of thy redeeming love.
Here I raise to thee an alter,
Hither by thy help I’m come.
And I hope by thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God.
He to rescue me from danger,
Interposed his precious blood.
Oh to grace, how great a debtor,
Daily I’m constrained to be.
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love.
Here’s my heart, oh take and seal it
Seal it for thy courts above.
Then Jeannine and Rico did the traditional grooming. She let down my
hair and noted coming wisdom - my first gray hairs. Paul chuckling said
he must be very wise, as his head is covered in gray. Then Rico massaged
Paul’s shoulders and expressed to him his confidence in his roll as a
husband and father/provider. Jeannine and Rico then demonstrated their
hand mudras individually and then together.
Then they anointed our feet with a bottle of Dream Catcher essential oil
blend. As Jeannine massaged various reflex points, I felt a wave of
loving energy wash over my body and the baby started to kick excitedly.
Rico worked on Paul and as they massaged I asked that my friends go
around the circle telling who they were and how they knew our family.
This was the highlight of the party for me. I found myself tearing up as
expressions of love were conveyed to Paul and I.
To finish the ceremony Paul and I sang the hymn, Jesus, Lover of my soul
with his guitar.
Then I had a feeling of love enter my heart for the circle of friends
that had gathered and my eternal companion Paul. We finished the party
with a feast of fresh fruit and muffins then visited and took pictures.
From this moment until the baby arrives we have been blessed and set
apart for the important task of welcoming our child into our home.
We have hired a post partum Doula. Amy specializes in the Ayurvedic
Mother/Baby protocol of massage, post partum cooking, and will care for
me for the six weeks following the birth.
My prayer for all families who walk down this primal mothering path is
that as we learn new principles and implement them into family life we
will be patient and loving. I have a dream that by the time my children
are grandparents this lifestyle will be firmly entrenched into our world
as an ideal way to live family life without all the distress for those
of us who choose it. with the humble understanding that each couple has
to decide for themselves which path will serve their family best.
The ultimate principle in all of this is LOVE. Cherishing and accepting
our little ones – and then launching them on the road that will
hopefully lead to the fulfillment of all their hopes and dreams!
While I am content to “live and let live” with those who disagree with
my views on birth, I feel passionate enough about holistic parenting to
believe that it will be the path that leads to the fulfillment of
Isaiah’s prophecy in his 65th chapter of the Bible.
Lord knows the cult of death, destruction, and hurt associated with the
Chemical/Medical model of parenting will NOT lead to this prophecy being
fulfilled.
Remember, Isaiah saw our day….
“And I will rejoice in Jerusalem, and joy in my people: and the voice of
weeping shall be no more heard in her, nor the voice of crying. There
shall be no more thence an infant of days, nor an old man that hath not
filled his days; for the child shall die an hundred years old….. for as
the days of a tree are the days of my people, and mine elect shall long
enjoy the work of their hands. They shall not labour in vain, nor bring
forth for trouble; for they are the seed of the blessed of the Lord, and
their offspring with them. And it shall come to pass, that before they
call, I will answer, and while they are yet speaking, I will hear. The
wolf and the lamb shall feed together, and the lion shall eat straw like
the bullock; and dust shall be the serpent’s meat. They shall not hurt
nor destroy in all my holy mountain saith the Lord.
Isaiah the Prophet
Until the day when children are no longer killed, hurt, or live a life
of days, or cry, or are destroyed…..
Love, Jenny
We recommend
Jenny's wonderful site!
The
Natural Family Company
Mission Statement - "Healthy Families Make A Healthy World!"
Web site address -
www.naturalfamilyco.com
Business owner - Jenny Hatch
Conference info - Sponsor and Organizer of The 2nd International Husband/Wife
Homebirth Conference - Theme - "When Faith Endures" - Keynote Speaker - Laura
Kaplan Shanley - This Unassisted Childbirth conference was held in Boulder
Colorado in July of 2001 and is available exclusively from the
Natural Family Site
as an e-video. Cost - $39.95 For Compleate Mother readers - mention this
ad through email when purchasing the conference e-video and receive a $5.00
rebate upon purchase through pay pal. Offer good until June 2003.
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