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Jasmine's Story
I have
three wonderful children. Through each birth experience I have grown
as a person & have quite literally gone from mainstream to attachment
parenting as a result.
During
my first pregnancy, I some close friends who had all taken Bradley
childbirth classes & they shared their positive experiences with me.
At the time I was teaching high school, and the mother of one of my
students was the Bradley instructor at our hospital so we took the class.
My husband & I enjoyed our classes & looked forward to a
perfect birth experience. Little did we know what was on the
horizon! In retrospect, I should have been much more insistent &
demanding with the medical staff but at the time, I allowed myself to be
dominated by my OB. My husband & I practice NFP and we had
brought in my chart to show the doctor the exact date of conception.
We were told that it did not coincide with the date on "wheel"
(based on a 28-day cycle which I have never had in my life!). When
the OB's due date came & went, they began to talk about induction
because she thought my baby would "get too big" in utero.
I asked to wait until my due date which was based on the date of
conception. My due date came & went & they talked about
induction again because I was two weeks over the OB's due date. We
were literally pushed into the induction with threats about baby's health,
etc. We agreed & went in early one morning for the prostaglandin
gel treatment. Nothing - no dilation to speak off. Next step -
the OB said they would give me a little help with something called pitocin.
Couldn't reach my Bradley instructor to ask for her advice so we agreed
because the doctor made it sound like a walk in the park. No one
told us that I would be placed on a monitor in bed with an IV in my arm.
I was not allowed to walk to help stimulate labor. They kept turning
up the pit level because nothing was happening. I spent almost 16
excruciating hours on maximum doses of pitocin with no pain medication
until about the 12th or 13th hour when my Bradley instructor who had
finally been told that I needed her arrived. We went through pain
visualizations & finally she told me that in this situation I did not
need to be a martyr. They gave me something to "take the edge
off" the pain. Then a few hours later they gave me an epidural.
At hour 17, they turned off the pitocin because they began to worry that
the baby was becoming "stressed." They tried to take a
scalp blood sample to check the baby's pH levels. The OB couldn't
get a good enough sample. At hour 31, she asked me to starting
trying to push. I couldn't feel when to push because of the
epidural. I pushed for an hour on their demands. Baby's
condition was rapidly deteriorating (wouldn't yours after this ordeal??)
& so at hour 32, the OB told me she needed to peform a c-section to
save my baby's life. My husband was allowed to suit up & be
present for the section thank goodness. I saw nothing but the blue
drape over my stomach. No mirror on the ceiling, nothing. My
son was born, handed to my husband who briefly was allowed to let me have
a quick glance & then he was whisked off to NICU because of breathing
difficulties. The OB closed my incision & I was sent to recovery
to wonder about my baby's fate. My husband kept running back &
forth between NICU and recovery to let me know what was happening.
While baby Christopher was in NICU, the nurses began to bottle feed him
despite the fact that my chart clearly said "mom planning to
nurse." I was not allowed out of bed for 24 hours after
delivery but as soon as I could, I made my way to NICU to start nursing
him. He refused to nurse, preferring the bottle which did not
require any effort. They had put the IV line hastily into his scalp
so he made quite a picture in his isolette. Everyone told me to be
happy I had a healthy baby. I was supremely happy & grateful for
that but I was also upset at the way I had been treated. I was able
to pump for about six weeks & added mother's milk to his formula.
Fast
forward through a miscarriage to three and a half years later.
We were expecting baby number two with great joy. I was 35 at the
time. New OB, new outlook on delivery options. A "routine
AFP screening" turned into a nightmare as they told me that my levels
were abnormal & sent me to a specialist. Thankfully, the
specialist was extremely kind & told me not to worry. He had
seen nothing that indicated that my daughter would be anything but
perfect. We waited for a week for the amnio confirmation.
Meanwhile, we wrote a birth plan & told the doctor it was going to be
our way this time (my first OB had been his partner but she had left the
practice by that time so he had full access to my files). I suppose
it also helped that I was his son's teacher at the time as well. He
even agreed to let me go to my due date rather than the due date from the
"magic 28-day cycle wheel." Near the end of my pregnancy,
his brother (also an OB) saw me for an appointment. My usual low
blood pressure had risen a bit that particular day due, no doubt, to
almost having a car accident in the parking lot & racing up the stairs
to my appointment. He immediately ordered a non-stress test &
bio-profile & wanted to induce. When I heard the word induction,
Christopher's birth experience hit me like a ton of bricks. I told
the nurse that I did not want an induction at all because I wanted a VBAC
not another section. My husband, who is far more forceful than I am,
told them no. A reprieve was granted. My OB went on vacation
for two weeks. Near the end of his vacation, I went into labor.
I was in non-productive labor for about three days. I couldn't eat
well or sleep well. I lost my mucous plug. I kept on having
labor pains. We went to the hospital to be checked - the nurse
midwife from the OB's practice decided to break my water to speed things
along, saying that she was going off duty but that another midwife from
the practice down the hall would be taking her place & that I would
have my baby within about 12 hours she thought. In retrospect, this
new midwife that we got was a gift from heaven!! She had a wonderful
no-nonsence approach & believed in me. She never said "we
can try for a VBAC" but rather "you're going to have this baby
naturally!" The nurse who was assigned to us, however, was a
different story. She had had three medicated births & could not
understand why I didn't want any meds. She kept asking me if she
could get me some stadol or an epidural. I had a severe case of the
shakes & started to vomit. Shortly thereafter, my Bradley
instructor stopped by to check on me. My husband told her that I had
just thrown up & she smiled, patted my arm & told me it was almost
over then! They called in the midwife & in two pushes, Victoria
was born! She nursed within minutes of birth. The midwife
later told me that I had experienced back labor but she didn't want to
discourage me by telling me. The very next morning my OB was back
from vacation & in my hospital room congratulating me on my VBAC.
The nurse came in & gave my daughter a pacifier because she was crying
so much. She wanted to give her a bottle but I told her I was
nursing. The lactation consultant said the pacifier was okay &
to continue to nurse. She never really checked Victoria's latch.
Victoria only nursed for 2.5 months since the doctors said she had
"failure to thrive." I now know it was due to her poor
latch but at the time, I had no one to tell me that!
Fast
forward nineteen months after Victoria's birth to the birth of my last
child. He was a "surprise" baby as we had only planned on
two but by this time, we had read enough & were moving toward
attachment parenting, cloth diapers & all those other
"radical" things (we live in a small conservative southern
town!). We had our birth plan with a few new additions & I was
relentless with the OB this time. He let me call the shots! I
refused the AFP but did get the amnio for peace of mind. The OB used
our due date based on the date of conception and let me go past that date
with hardly a wimper or protest. Easter Sunday morning, I was up
early to get the kids ready for church -- I had started to lose my mucous
plug & was experiencing some labor pains which I thought were only
Braxton Hicks contractions because they were not as intense as the ones I
had previously with Victoria. I thought I would have the baby in a
day or so but he had other ideas! We hastily called my daughter's
godparents when my contractions were only 4-5 minutes apart & were
growing in intensity. They picked up the kids to go to Mass and we
headed for the hospital. They checked me & told me to start
walking. My husband & I walked & walked & walked,
pausing to let me get through the intense contractions. Hours later,
my water broke & it was not clear. Because there was some
meconium staining, they would not let me labor in the water as I had so
wanted to do. I was put into a bed with a monitor & had visions
of my first delivery. This time we had requested a nurse who had
experienced natural childbirth and she was a dream to work with!
Overall this was a much more positive experience since we had done our
"homework" & I was prepared to have a second successful VBAC.
Baby Sean was born a few hours after I was put to bed & was a healthy
little boy (8 and 9 apgars!). He nursed ravenously after birth.
The lactation consultant (not the same one as last time, thank goodness!)
came & checked his latch several times for me & reported that he
was doing fine. My mom came & spent the night with us in the
hospital room. Sean nursed every hour on the hour! We have
since learned that he has a hypermetabolism & is always hungry but he
has been my healthiest baby yet.
If I
had it to do all over again, I would have opted for a midwife or even a
home birth with my first child and less intervention with the others.
It has taken me several years to get over the guilt & sadness over the
first "failed" birth experience but as so many have told me, at
least I have a healthy little 6.5 year old boy to show for the experience!
thanks
for letting me share my long experiences :-)
Jasmine
mommy to Christopher (2/17/95), cloth diapered Victoria (8/12/98) & cloth-diapered, breast-fed Sean Nicholas (4/23/00 -- the Easter Baby!) The Bunny Patch (cloth diapers, wipes, etc.) - http://bunnypatch.wahmcentral.com Auction listings - http://bunnypatch.wahmdirect.com Please join the bunnypatch group for more info: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/bunnypatch
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